"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in cage"

The heat has hit. in the lower 30's with over 80% humidity. Pretty gross really. Cool thing though: it steam pressed my skirt yesterday :).
Zoo is slightly slow, as I'm waiting for other zoo's to send me their data... so I'm sifting through my biometry book, trying to figure out what test I'm actually going to be doing... since I only have 4 or 5 years... not v significant really.
The saga of the animlas continues: there are mice in the basha's house, and I will be in charge of getting rid of tghem. so I have to find some mouse friendly traps and set them around the house, so I can let them go free. I saw a cute lil gray one yesterday, tiny, but a fast little bugger, he was running up and down the stairs! how the hell he did that, no can tell you, but he was very doue!
Ice cream store is good, but I fear that along with the zoo, I might fall in a long and heavy sleep. I'm on a 5 day shift there. This w/e is long and... long: 20-230 on friday, 1130-20 on saturday, and 12-8 on sunday... I might die. So hte rest of my time will be spent sleeping I predict.
There's a 15 year old bitch there too: she first told me I looked younger than her, to which I rebuted taht it will serve me in my later years (yeah thats right!), and then she kept on telling me what to do! get off my case lil one...
Aighty back to sifting, and then wandering, and then eating, and then analysing, and then napping and then scooping, and then sleeping (thats in the next 14 hours hihhi)

lovely song really

MEME PAS
J'ai même pas une excuse pour rester couchée
J'suis même pas malade, j'ai pas contracté
Un virus, une allergie, la grande épidémie
J'ai pas connu tout ça
J'suis même pas drôle, même pas contente
Je sais pas trop c'que j'ai, j
J' 'suis indécise, surtout jamais comprise
Y'a moi et mes parents dans l'même appartement
On est heureux comme ça
Mais plus j'grandis plus j'apprécie qu'ils m'foutent la paix,
J'sais pas c'que j'ai
J'suis même pas moi, j'suis à côté et complètement larguée
J'suis même pas faite pour vivre sur cette planête

Si c'est comme ça je n'en doute pas
Je passerai par tous les états
Les déceptions, tout ça c'est pas facile à vivre
Si c'est ainsi dans tous les cas
On grandit, on ne choisit pas
Et sur le fil il faut tenir en équilibre

J'ai arrêté l'école, je fais quelques bricoles
Pour voir mon porte-monnaie crever la dalle, tout amaigri
Pour lui la grande épidémie, j'ai pas pleuré, on m'a viré
Je sais pas trop ce que j'ai
J'suis même pas celle que j'ai toujours été
J'ai juste un seul espoir, c'est d'avoir une histoire
De rencontrer quelqu'un
Devant l'envie très vite j'me dis
Ca s'trouve j'suis même pas jolie
J'sais pas quoi faire, j'vis dans une serre
Je sais pas trop c'que j'ai
J'suis même pas faite pour vivre sur cette planête

Si c'est comme ça je n'en doute pas
Je passerai par tous les états
Les déceptions, tout ça c'est pas facile à vivre
Si c'est ainsi dans tous les cas
On grandit, on ne choisit pas
Et sur le fil il faut tenir en équilibre

J'achète un poisson rouge, il est vivant, il bouge
J'oublie jamais les graines
Mais si j'pouvais moi même prendre de la graine
Pour dire j'en ai assez
J'sais pas c'que j'ai, j'sais pas où j'vais
Et que faire de ma peau
Et dans ma tête y'a toujours des travaux

Si c'est comme ça je n'en doute pas
Je passerai par tous les états
Les déceptions, tout ça c'est pas facile à vivre
Si c'est ainsi dans tous les cas
On grandit, on ne choisit pas
Et sur le fil il faut tenir en équilibre

-La Grande Sophie

YAY FOR HAIRCUTTERS!

YAY for short hair!

Here's the story of the pigeon: I was walkin back from the metro station, up 19th street, and there was this pigeon... on the groundo , flappin its wings and not takin off. v weird and disturbing, so i bend down and pick him up (fine there were a few attempts before I actually got a hold of him). The vet was closed, so i brought him here... fmily basha was nice enough to let me bring him in and care for it.
since I couldnt really figure out what was wrotn (somehting around the foot and the tail...) I called osme wildlife centers to find out if i could bring him in (despite the fact that he is a measly introduced pigeon).
well worked, so today brought a v antsy pigeon in the metro, all the way to alexandria, spent 40 mins tryin to find the place, but when i did was a lovely animal hospital, who will do what is necessary and then (if the necessary isnt a everlasting sleep) bring him to a wildlife rehabilitator.
so thats my pigeon story. the second of the year....

Maggie Moo's and ANTM

Well, not only has national geographic recognized my intelligence and candeur (im not sure that works just right, but hey, looks lovely!)
http://www.upn.com/shows/top_model6/show/ep11/freezeframe.shtml
yes, thats my genius. tho its kind of lame.but better than the others. damn, i haveno life.
which is why, along with the zoo, im taking a job at an ice cream store: Maggie Moo's. just had a training session, and goin in on saturday and sunday, from 2-7.
oh what a life, what a life!
http://www.maggiemoos.com/home/index.cfm
i might blimp from the icecream... oh my!


Oh, and got this as the quote of the day (yes, i am a major dork)

"When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter. "
-Tom Robbins

Ill keep that one in mind. and never go out again.

Oh dreams!

Well last night was one of the liveliest I've had in months.
full of dreams... one included daisy being mauled by a cougar. I can assure you that I practically woke up in tears... and promptly texted my mother, telling her I was worried for daisykins life. dear dear me. I think it was inspired by the following story:
"In the incident Sunday at the Beekse Bergen Safari Park, several Sloth bears chased the Barbary macaque into an electric fence, where it was stunned.
It recovered and fled onto a wooden structure, where one bear pursued and mauled it to death."
accompanied with the following picture:
What's odd is that sloth bears are insectivores... they v rarely kill "real" animals (some people would shoot me for that last sentence). I guess being in a zoo screws your little bear mind up a bit...
Speakin of sloth bears, I got to meet a sloth bear cub here at the zoo. the cutest lil thing, not yet brought out to the public... only 18lbs!
That mystery solved, the second most vivid part of the dream was an interminable walk through an airport with... joc and her parents. That i have no idea where it comes from, but hey, was interesting. lots of escalatores, and talk bout inflight movies... but what the hell that meant, noooooooooo friggin idea.
I also kept on lookin at the time... at least i think i did. when the alarm finally rang, didn't seem right.

I'm sad, scrubs ends tonight (but new season in fall - yaaaaaaaay), and will and grace and that 70s show are over for ever (sniff).

And tonight, the ANTM finale.
Just so those who don't watch it know what they're missing: "What I was most reminded of from the elephant was the ancient dinosaur. Because the elephant is actually related to the dinosaurs."
that was just gorgeous. a fine television moment.
[editor's note: the closest similarity between an elephant and a dino is that they are both amniotes... but dinos as reptiles, and elephant as placentals. jsut in case you didn't know the fine tuning of their differences]

Sitting here, listening to a crowd of kids visiting the kiwi, and a teacher saying "smile" makes me want to gag.
Just like yesterday when I literally ploughed through a group of kids on the Mall. I was furious, cuz I was listening to "You Oughta Know" (i love that song, but also know that I should stop listening to it). I was just full of fury, and seeing all those stupid lil middle/high schoolers, determined me to not get out of anybody's way, and was quite relieving really.
Before that I was sitting on the edge of the Potomac, literally the edge, and befriended a duck. A mallard came quacking up to me, about 50cm away, and then stood behind me for a good 10 mins, just quacking, and then sat down 1m to my left and fell asleep. He later woke up with a stretch, slowly entered the water, and flowed away, quacking contently.

*I think the teacher may actually have been the embassador to New Zealand... oops

www.foolsgarden.de

Lemon Tree
I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time
I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast
I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree

I'm sitting here
I miss the power
I'd like to go out taking a shower
But there's a heavy cloud inside my head
I feel so tired
Put myself into bed
Well, nothing ever happens and I wonder

Isolation is not good for me
Isolation I don't want to sit on the lemon-tree

I'm steppin' around in the desert of joy
Baby anyhow I'll get another toy
And everything will happen and you wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
And I wonder, wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see, and all that I can see, and all that I can see
Is just a yellow lemon-tree

I had never got the depth of these lyrics... oh how I do understand them...

So i looked them up: they're still a band, and german! you learn things everyday.
I found a red rose on the sidewalk this morning. well just the rose.
still, its a pretty find.

Early morning boredom

so here I am, at the zoo, having my mid morning snack (yes, 930 am has become mid morning, since breakfast is sometime between 530 and 6) of graham crackers, m&ms, penuts and raisins (my my quite tasty).
so these are my days: arrive, wait for paul to open the door (cuz intern person, sara, isnt here... shes in kenya... lucky), chekc my email. that leaves me ready to do somehting by 7. so i fill in data sheets, fill in the weather sheet.
then i go walk around a bit, cuz the birdies are cute in the morning. v awake and lively and v calm, cuz no screaming kids yet (please tell me i wasnt that loud as a kid!!!!)

these are two of my fav: the hammerkopf b/c it hoots like a monkey and has an awesome head, and the tawny frogmouth, cuz htye've got awesome mouths (check out frogmouths, really... pretty awesome species).

Other cool ones are the kiwi (duh) which i got to pet :), my buddy the diabetic toucan, and the guam rails which are extinct in the wild (cuz of the introduced brown tree snake), which are feisty lil creatures, and oh so much fun!

One of my fav stories is one of the storks who is sitting on a squash for aobut three weeks now... waiting it to hatch i guess. they try to take it out, but get attacked. ah, motherhood.

Speaking of motherhood, on monday, may 8th (not done purposely) I went to the holocaust museum here in dc, which is absolutely beautiful (if that can be used here). so much, spent 4 hrs in the "permanant exhibit" alone. I think the most touchin story was the one told by this old lady (lets name her Ida for the purpose), who told the story of what happened when she got to Auschwitz.
Ida and her mom's railcar is opened by some of the prisonners, who tell them "heraus" (get out in german), but who also whisper to them in yiddish, that it's best for them to hurry, and any woman seen with a young child will be sent to the gas chamber.
Ida's mother, without Ida even realizing, runs over to her older daughter (we'll call her Clara) who has a young son named Danny. The mother takes Danny, telling Clara that it's best if she takes the child, b/c anybody who has a child is exempt of hard labor, and at her age it's best for her to not have to do hard labor.
That been said and done, without Ida or Clara having any idea what's happening b/c its goin to fast, the mother is sent, with Dannyto another line - the one goin to the gas chamber. The last words Ida heard from her mother was, "take care of clara".

Another horrifying story is when one girl asked where her mom was after having arrived at the barracks, people just pointed to the smoke coming out of the crematorium.


It was extremely depressing, yet motivating. If ppl survived, fought to survive in such horrible conditions, we should all have the courage to live in our conditions, b/c there is absolutely nothing wrong with them, they can even be called quasi perfect for the vast majority of us.

So much to say

So here I am: in dc.
things I don't think i can adjust to:
1. the month of may... it seems to be blacklisted for me now.
2. the diversity of body shapes in the states
3. seeing dead animals before getting to the zoo
4. seeing ppl unhappy who shouldn't be

things i will adjust to:
1. wakin up at 530 or earlier to go to the zoo
2. seeing a deer everytime i go up the hill to the bird house
3. ppl not knowing what do to with me
4. the heat

I go about on this very often, but wouldn't life be better w/out intelligence. the more ppl are intelligent... no intelligent is not the right word: reflective or thoughtful (not in the nice sense), the more they're likely to be unhappy?
or the more they disdain others because those ppl don't seem to have to worry bout everything else.
The key is either to be entirely too silly for your own good, or just to keep extra busy... and hope for the best.